Archive for the ‘Alcohol Rehab’ Category
When Staying is too Painful
Many times it’s the recovering addict who makes the decision to walk away. Seeing his or her spouse or partner again after treatment and knowing the bitter history of failed promises, financial ruin, loss of reputation, dignity, perhaps even physical violence – all as a result of addiction – the recovering addict assesses the situation and recognizes there’s only one compassionate solution.
Sometimes to stay becomes too painful for the partner of the recovering addict. This goes beyond the issue of a broken heart, lack of trust, even loss of love. When the debris of the past has intruded into the present, no amount of wishing can make it go away. Perhaps walking away is the best choice in the situation. It may be only temporary, while the recovering addict and the spouse or partner continues counseling, 12-step group attendance or other therapy. It may also turn out to be a permanent solution. There is no one right answer, no single way to walk away that works for everyone.
How to Leave the Recovering Addict
For many women stuck in a relationship with a domineering alcoholic or drug addict, whether or not the individual has completed treatment for their addiction, it’s not a question of wanting to leave, but how to leave. These women face difficult choices, since many times they are completely dependent on their husbands. They have limited options, but that doesn’t mean they have no options.
If you are one of these women who wants to leave, but fears you can’t, don’t just suffer in silence. You need to set healthy boundaries with your husband. This will allow you time to get your plan together so that you can safely leave. Healthy boundaries are those that any reasonable person would agree with. You need to set these boundaries during a time when your husband is not drunk or high. Do not threaten him. That will backfire and may lead to arguments or worse. For example, you could tell your husband that you will go to your mother’s house if he comes home in a drunken stupor again – and stay there until he has sobered up. You need to mean what you say and be ready to follow through on it. If you set a boundary and don’t follow through on it, you have just created other problems for yourself.
Next, you need to take small steps to work toward your own independence. If you don’t have a job, you should try to get one, even if it’s part-time employment. This will get you out of the house and allow you to earn some money. To leave, you will need money and resources. Talk with your relatives, friends or a counselor about being able to make a life for yourself.
You may also wish to consider joining Al-Anon. This 12-step organization for those whose lives have been affected by another’s alcoholism is a fellowship whose members are dedicated to helping others in similar situations. You may be able to find help there in obtaining employment as well.
Source: Drug Addiction Treatment
Mom Hits Bottom After Years of Drinking
At the end of a country road, inside the walls of a quaint and calm Hattiesburg, Miss., home, a family was in crisis.
Lynn Wardlow, a 50-year-old wife and mother of three, had been a drinker for more than 20 years. All the while, though, she ran a family business and raised her children.
In January, “20/20? visited Wardlow. It was the day before she’d planned to give up alcohol for good.
“My hands are shaking,” said Wardlow as she packed her bags. “God, I hope I remembered to bring underwear.”
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In the morning, Wardlow would travel from the Gulf Coast to Palm Beach, Fla., check herself into a medical facility for detox and then enter a 30-day rehab program for her alcohol addiction.
Meanwhile, Wardlow planned one last hurrah. She took a bottle from a cabinet in her bedroom.
“Would this be my best choice for my last bottle of wine?” she asked.
The last year in the Wardlow home had been particularly difficult, especially for the children — Bo, 21; Jessy, 20; and Marina, 17.
“She’s been drinking every night for as far back as I don’t even know,” said Bo. “The last year there’s been a lot of drama, and it’d be nice if things were just normal for even just a little while.”
Wardlow poured herself some wine. “My kids want me to just stop, stop, stop, but I like, I don’t think I can just stop,” she said.
“And if I did, I don’t know if I would feel very good, or if we might have to go to the hospital, because I just stopped after I’ve been going, go, go, go for so long.”
Wardlow’s children have witnessed things no child should ever see: their mother passed out in her closet, in a drunken rage at a bookstore, in a car attempting to drive after an alcohol-infused fight.
“It’s hard to see someone you love have to be addicted to something in order to feel better,” said Marina.
“It makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong,” said Jessy.
Drunken Moms: ‘When She Gets Like That’
The kids say their mother’s drinking had reached a critical point. Last April, Wardlow was diagnosed with hepatitis C, unrelated to her alcoholism. Unless she quit drinking, she could die.
But even the threat of losing her life, the family said, hadn’t stopped Wardlow from consuming alcohol.
“I want my mom to get better and not just for our sake but for her sake for her health,” said Jessy.
Wardlow’s last night at home was tense. The alcohol fueled her anxiety of what was to come.
“I think after two drinks, I’m like, you know what, these people aggravate me,” said Wardlow, who ran the family’s ceiling construction business. “And they aggravate me during the course of the day, and at the end of the day, I have a couple of drinks.”
The kids knew better than to stick around once Lynn started drinking. Wardlow’s husband, Bob, soon became a target.
“If you want to spend more time with Bill O’Reilly and your computer then go ahead,” Wardlow cracked.
“When she gets like that, conversations can turn to arguments,” said Bob.
“Or being an a**hole can turn to arguments,” said Wardlow. “Maybe I’m just able to say, you know what, [I've] had it up to here!”
The next morning, her head a little clearer, Wardlow acknowledged that rehab may be her last chance.
“I’ve affected my children. … Our relationships would be different if alcohol wasn’t a part of my life,” she said.
But just before she walked out the door, the leftover wine from the night before called to her.
“I’m not going to drink that,” Wardlow said, wavering before she gave in and took a sip.
Wardlow’s family walked her down the steps. She gave them kisses. She grew emotional.
“I’m not the only person who needs to be healed,” said Wardlow. “I’m not the only person who has been affected by this.
“It’s gonna be good,” she assured her famliy. “I’m going to get better.”
Two planes, three bloody mary’s and two beers later, Wardlow landed in Florida.
She was greeted by Loren Seaman from the Orchid Recovery Center, where Wardlow would surrender herself for treatment.
“Did you drink?” Seaman asked.
“Well, hell yeah,” Wardlow said.
Wardlow and Seaman had been talking for weeks on the phone to prepare for her arrival.
But before her bags had even make it downstairs, a shoeless Wardlow headed off for one more drink.
“We’re going to make a new martini,” Wardlow said. “It’s called the Lynn’s-quitting-drinking-and-going-to-rehab martini. Ready?
Drunken Moms: Tough Recovery Odds
Finally, it was time for Seaman to sign Wardlow into the center.
“Have you ever been to detox?” Seaman asked. The answer was no.
“It’s OK, I’m good,” said Wardlow, laughing. “I’m drunk, so right now I ain’t scared. Give me a day or two, and I’m probably going to be frightened out of my wits.”
Over a million people submit to detox and rehab programs for alcohol addiction every year in this country. The odds going into rehab were against Wardlow. Studies show that 90 percent of people in recovery relapse.
Wardlow had a session with Linda Burns, head of nursing at Sunrise Detox.
“How much are you drinking a day, about?” Linda asked.
“Four, five, six …” replied Wardlow.
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse, one third of alcoholics in the United States are women.
Staff at both the Orchid and Sunrise Detox Center told “20/20? that about 95 percent of the women they pick up at the airport are intoxicated upon arrival. Wardlow was no exception.
A Sunrise Detox tech measured Wardlow’s blood alcohol content upon admission.
“You’re not too bad — .106,” the tech said.
“What does that mean?” said Wardlow. “Would I be arrested?”
“Oh, definitely, yeah.”
“I would be arrested.”
“Yeah.”
“Point-zero-8 is the limit, and I’m at point 1-plus over. I’m over the limit to drive a vehicle.”
“Yes, you would be wearing nice bracelets.”
For the next five days — standard for alcohol addiction — Wardlow remained at Sunrise. She was medicated with a drug called librium to eliminate the side effects of withdrawal, which can range from tremors and insomnia to delirium or even seizures.
From day one, Wardlow was restless.
“If you reached in your pocket right now and pulled out a beer, it would be really hard for me not to drink it,” she told “20/20.” “Quite honestly, it would.”
By day four, her impatience and boredom reached all-time highs.
“I have not had a good morning,” she said, talking to a portable camera “20/20? gave her to document her journey. “I have cried on more than one occasion today. I have come to the realization that this is the closest thing to a jail that I have ever been in.”
But it was only the beginning of a long and difficult journey.
The next step for Wardlow was the Orchid Recovery Center, a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center designed specifically to treat women.
“We’re just glad you’re here, Lynn,” said an Orchid staff member who welcomed her.
“Thank you,” said Wardlow. “I’m glad I’m here too.”
Drunken Moms: From Detox to Rehab
Normally, TV cameras are not permitted to see inside the walls of a rehab facility. But with Wardlow’s permission, the Orchid Recovery Center allowed “20/20? unprecedented access to their treatment process.
“You don’t know Lynn clean and sober,” Mindy Appel, Wardlow’s therapist at the Orchid, told her. “You don’t know that woman.”
Unlike at detox, Wardlow’s days at rehab would be packed, from six in the morning until nine at night. She would have individual and group therapy sessions mixed with yoga, meditation, accupuncture and art.
An all-female facility, the Orchid is run almost exclusively by women, many of whom have been through some type of addiction recovery of their own.
The Orchid places enormous weight on the honing of life skills, encouraging women to shop and cook for themselves — all of the things they’ll have to do back home. But sometimes, even a simple trip to the grocery store can spell trouble. Once a woman from the center drank vanilla extract from the store. It’s 24 percent alcohol. The woman drank five or six big bottles, staff said — and came back reeking of alcohol and walking funny.
For recovering alcoholics, triggers to resume drinking can be anything from beer commercials on TV to the wine store they used to frequent — anything that reminds them of drinking, said Orchid staff.
Wardlow’s heavy lifting for the next 30 days would happen inside the office of Appel, her therapist.
“We want to stay really focused, and I’m going to keep you on task here,” Appel told her.
During her first session, Wardlow confessed her reasons for drinking went back to her relationship with her father.
“So what was growing up like for you?” asked Appel.
“I had times of sadness,” said Wardlow. “My father was an alcoholic… When I was 15 he decided it was time to go … so he died.”
Genetics may also have had a role in Wardlow’s addiction. Studies show that children of alcoholics are four times more likely to develop the problem.
A week into her treatment, “20/20? co-anchor Elizabeth Vargas paid a visit to Wardlow at Orchid. She appeared more calm and focused but still struggled with her addiction.
Vargas asked her if it was hard.
“It’s really hard,” she said. “It is hard and it’s, and it’s hurtful, and you realize how many people that you’ve hurt. And my children are amazing. I mean, I look at them, and I know I’ve not been a bad mother. I’m like, I know I’m a good mother. I’ve mothered them well — but how much better could it have been if these past 10 years, I hadn’t been living in the bottom, in the bottom of a bottle?”
Wardlow described the cycle of her drinking.
“I wake up the next morning, you feel horrible, and you say, ‘I’m gonna do better. I’m gonna do better. I’m gonna do better. So, but I don’t feel very good today. So this afternoon, I’m just gonna have a beer.’” Which turns into “three or four or five or six.”
Are Mothers Drinking More?
The team of therapists at the Orchid said regrets and expectations about being the perfect mother are often what push a woman deeper into her addiction.
“There’s so many women that are so sophisticated at covering up and being, you know, the PTA mom and being the soccer mom and doing all things for everyone,” said Appel.
But are women, particularly mothers, drinking more — or are we just finding out about it more?
“I think we’re finding out about it more,” said Mindy Agler, another therapist on the Orchid team. “[It's] just not something you talk about. … If a man walks away from a family because he needs to focus on his recovery, everybody says OK, so he needs to do that. But if a woman leaves her family to go get treatment and then decides ‘You know what, I’m not ready, I got to go to a halfway house before I go back to my kids,’ everybody goes, ‘Oh my God.’”
That double standard and the stigma of alcoholism can keep a woman’s disease under wraps. But past traumas, the therapists say, can also play a role.
In her short time at the Orchid, Wardlow opened up about not only her alcoholic father but other traumatic experiences: an abortion at 17, and a horrific gang-rape on her 18th birthday.
“She identifies, from 15 to 18, these were horrible years for her,” said Appel. “That she’s never, never dealt with.”
The entire time, a question hung in the background: Would Wardlow make it through treatment, and would she be able to stay away from alcohol once she was back home?
“I’ll be honest with you, I’m scared as hell,” she said. “I’m scared, I’m scared to go home.
Wardlow left the Orchid with 30 days clean and a lifetime of hurdles in front of her. We visited Wardlow in Hattiesburg after her release. She was ready to add another day to her sobriety.
“This is my little tablet,” she said, indicating a pad of paper. “And I wad up yesterday and I write today down, put my little tablet back up there, and if I drink, I have to put that tablet on zero — and I don’t want to have to do that.”
The time back home had not always been easy.
“We had to relearn how to live with one another,” said Wardlow. “The first week or two was pretty volatile. Not in a physical way, but there was lots of screaming and gnashing of teeth.”
But there are signs of healing.
“We’re all really proud of her,” said Marina. “I know if she sets her mind to anything, that’s what she’s going to do. I’m just glad that she finally set her mind to it.”
“I think she’s trying to be more aware, and I think she’s trying to make up for, in some aspects, everything that’s happened and stuff,” said Jessy. “But I think she’s working on it. … I think she’ll do it. I believe in her.”
Wardlow had followed her care plan closely. She had daily phone calls with her sponsor and attended support group meetings regularly.
To stay with the recovery program, Wardlow can never consume a drop of alcohol — or take any habit-forming medication — again.
“No mood-altering drugs, as far as any type of benzos or opiates or whatever,” she said. “I was on tremizal for joint pain. Also I was taking lunesta to sleep, and I’m not taking that any more either.”
Wardlow left one support meeting with a chip marking how long it had been since she’d stopped drinking.
“Ninety days! 90 Days,” she said. “Big three months. Three months sober.”
By SEAN DOOLEY and SHANA DRUCKERMAN
Recovery & Support Groups
Support groups
One of our biggest stumbling blocks is that we try to manage our pain and addiction by ourselves. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states, “Without help it is too much for us.” In moving toward a solution, the book also states, “Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.” There are many people who have suffered as you are suffering, and whose very lives depend on helping people who are where they used to be, such as you. There are thousands of Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous meetings scattered throughout the United States. There are also Chronic Pain Anonymous groups, although they are usually found in larger cities, being that they are fairly new.
There are many pain support groups that are not twelve-step in nature, but they offer the support we need from other people who also suffer from chronic pain. Treatment centers will usually help you locate these meetings, and can sometimes provide you with the name of a person who can help you get started.
The dawn of a new day
Reading this may have made you angry or sad. Many of us who are taught the tools of recovery initially think that we will be enslaved by it, that recovery is a prison sentence where we have to carry a ball and chain the rest of our lives. We do not realize that recovery is a quality way of life that can provide us with many rewards that most people do not receive. The Big Book states, “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will know how to handle situations, which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
These are known as the Promises. They are not called “maybes” for a reason. These are not things that might happen to you if you enter recovery, they are things that have to happen to you… I promise!
What to Expect in Detox
Detoxing from alcohol and drugs is something that should be done with medical advice and care, and should be backed up with counseling in order to help the alcoholic get past the psychological dependence as well as the physical dependence on alcohol. The first goal in an alcohol and drug detox program will be to help the person get through the symptoms they will experience from withdrawal, including any psychiatric problems they may experience. This is usually the first step in a total detox program and can be very effective if done under the right circumstances.
Everyone goes through detox differently and what any one individual may go through will depend largely on a person’s age, frequency and amount of use, as well as any underlying medical issues they may have. For the most part, one can expect to experience withdrawal symptoms such a nausea, vomiting, tremors, sweats and anxiety. In extreme cases some people also may have convulsions or seizures. These are just a few of the reasons why it’s important to have proper medical support in order to help with an alcohol and drug detox program. Many of these effects can be lessened with medications and with proper supervision. On the other hand, some people get through it with very few symptoms. There is no way to tell how any one person will react. Supervised detox is always the best approach. It helps knowing that you have support there if you need it.
Once you have gone through the detox part of the program it’s important to realize that this is just the first step. You’ve managed to eliminate alcohol and drugs from your body but there are still steps that need to be done to ensure that you don’t return to drinking or using again. In order to have a complete recovery it’s important to understand that you now will need to make lifestyle changes in order to increase your odds for a sustained recovery. Learning to live without alcohol as a crutch can be very difficult, but the longer-term benefits of a new and happier life are well worth it.
During the first 30-90 days of a detox program is the time when people are most vulnerable. This is why it’s important to effect changes in your lifestyle as well as getting psychological support. Lifestyle changes can mean staying away from friends who are heavy drinkers, and who may not understand what you have gone through and what you are now trying to accomplish. Staying away from bars or other places where alcohol is served, including your home. Your family will be able to understand the need for you to not be around other people who are drinking. It’s also important to understand the meaning of a dry drunk. This is a person who has ceased drinking and eliminated alcohol from their system, but has done nothing to change the emotional aspects of abuse. This is another aspect of how your lifestyle must change. The more you work with a counselor, the more you will understand that it also takes emotional changes in order to remain sober.
Emotional support from friends and family is also crucial when you are going through alcohol detox. Rehab treatment centers that help people detox also provide support for them through counseling or through a 12-step program such as AA. It is important for the alcoholic to take actions to help in their recovery, and going to counseling regularly is a part of that. If you are on medications you need to take them as directed and never stop it without consulting a doctor. It’s also important to include the family of anyone going through alcohol detox, and allow him or her to offer support and help and be a part of the recovery process. In the end though it is up to the alcoholic to do the necessary work to effect a complete recovery, and then take the needed steps to remain in recovery.
Alcohol Rehab For Effective Alcohol Treatment
Alcoholism. What is it? What makes an alcoholic an alcoholic? Can alcohol rehab help? What does alcohol treatment really do? Is there an alcohol rehabilitation center that can help? If it is you who suspects that you are an alcoholic or if there is someone in your life that you think may be, if you are asking these questions, the answer is “yes” you or this person may be an alcoholic. Since you’re asking the questions it must mean that you have come to a point in your life that change sounds good. You might be at that point where drinking everyday isn’t helping you to get out of life what you feel you deserve, or your spouse’s alcoholism has impeded on your quality of life long enough and you are ready to live life the way you dreamt you would. It could be that you finally realized that your beginning to drink more and drinking is the very reason you aren’t living the life you thought you would. The good news is that you can get your life under control. You can live a healthier, alcohol free existence. You can be sober and you can be happy!
You don’t have to do it alone. Many alcoholics try to stop the drinking on their own. As with any addiction, some are able to stop their addiction cold turkey, their attempts turn into failures, in turn compounding their addiction. Professional, consistent, help is the key to recovery. Alcohol treatment is an effective way to reach your goal of lifelong sobriety. If alcohol rehab is in your future make sure that you take the time to find an alcohol rehabilitation center that will help you meet your goals the way you want to. Your environment will have an impact on your ultimate success, as a recovering alcoholic you are going to want to trust the people that are too take care of you.
Detoxification from alcohol can be extremely uncomfortable, and if not done with proper care and attention, the initial detox period can prove to be fatal, depending on the severity of the alcohol abuse and other health issues that have arisen because of it. Today is as good a day as any to start the journey to your new alcohol free life. Call 1-888-443-3869 and find an alcohol rehabilitation center that will help save your life or the life of someone you love.
Your life is too precious to be lost to addiction. If you or a loved one need alcohol treatment don’t waste anymore time. Your family and your friends love you, and they want you to be healthy and happy, and around for a long time. alcohol rehab will get you through the darkest days of recovery and help you see the light on the other side. Your alcoholism isn’t only destroying you; it’s also affecting the lives of the people that you love the most.
by Amit Chakraborty
