Archive for the ‘Detox’ Category
Mom Hits Bottom After Years of Drinking
At the end of a country road, inside the walls of a quaint and calm Hattiesburg, Miss., home, a family was in crisis.
Lynn Wardlow, a 50-year-old wife and mother of three, had been a drinker for more than 20 years. All the while, though, she ran a family business and raised her children.
In January, “20/20? visited Wardlow. It was the day before she’d planned to give up alcohol for good.
“My hands are shaking,” said Wardlow as she packed her bags. “God, I hope I remembered to bring underwear.”
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In the morning, Wardlow would travel from the Gulf Coast to Palm Beach, Fla., check herself into a medical facility for detox and then enter a 30-day rehab program for her alcohol addiction.
Meanwhile, Wardlow planned one last hurrah. She took a bottle from a cabinet in her bedroom.
“Would this be my best choice for my last bottle of wine?” she asked.
The last year in the Wardlow home had been particularly difficult, especially for the children — Bo, 21; Jessy, 20; and Marina, 17.
“She’s been drinking every night for as far back as I don’t even know,” said Bo. “The last year there’s been a lot of drama, and it’d be nice if things were just normal for even just a little while.”
Wardlow poured herself some wine. “My kids want me to just stop, stop, stop, but I like, I don’t think I can just stop,” she said.
“And if I did, I don’t know if I would feel very good, or if we might have to go to the hospital, because I just stopped after I’ve been going, go, go, go for so long.”
Wardlow’s children have witnessed things no child should ever see: their mother passed out in her closet, in a drunken rage at a bookstore, in a car attempting to drive after an alcohol-infused fight.
“It’s hard to see someone you love have to be addicted to something in order to feel better,” said Marina.
“It makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong,” said Jessy.
Drunken Moms: ‘When She Gets Like That’
The kids say their mother’s drinking had reached a critical point. Last April, Wardlow was diagnosed with hepatitis C, unrelated to her alcoholism. Unless she quit drinking, she could die.
But even the threat of losing her life, the family said, hadn’t stopped Wardlow from consuming alcohol.
“I want my mom to get better and not just for our sake but for her sake for her health,” said Jessy.
Wardlow’s last night at home was tense. The alcohol fueled her anxiety of what was to come.
“I think after two drinks, I’m like, you know what, these people aggravate me,” said Wardlow, who ran the family’s ceiling construction business. “And they aggravate me during the course of the day, and at the end of the day, I have a couple of drinks.”
The kids knew better than to stick around once Lynn started drinking. Wardlow’s husband, Bob, soon became a target.
“If you want to spend more time with Bill O’Reilly and your computer then go ahead,” Wardlow cracked.
“When she gets like that, conversations can turn to arguments,” said Bob.
“Or being an a**hole can turn to arguments,” said Wardlow. “Maybe I’m just able to say, you know what, [I've] had it up to here!”
The next morning, her head a little clearer, Wardlow acknowledged that rehab may be her last chance.
“I’ve affected my children. … Our relationships would be different if alcohol wasn’t a part of my life,” she said.
But just before she walked out the door, the leftover wine from the night before called to her.
“I’m not going to drink that,” Wardlow said, wavering before she gave in and took a sip.
Wardlow’s family walked her down the steps. She gave them kisses. She grew emotional.
“I’m not the only person who needs to be healed,” said Wardlow. “I’m not the only person who has been affected by this.
“It’s gonna be good,” she assured her famliy. “I’m going to get better.”
Two planes, three bloody mary’s and two beers later, Wardlow landed in Florida.
She was greeted by Loren Seaman from the Orchid Recovery Center, where Wardlow would surrender herself for treatment.
“Did you drink?” Seaman asked.
“Well, hell yeah,” Wardlow said.
Wardlow and Seaman had been talking for weeks on the phone to prepare for her arrival.
But before her bags had even make it downstairs, a shoeless Wardlow headed off for one more drink.
“We’re going to make a new martini,” Wardlow said. “It’s called the Lynn’s-quitting-drinking-and-going-to-rehab martini. Ready?
Drunken Moms: Tough Recovery Odds
Finally, it was time for Seaman to sign Wardlow into the center.
“Have you ever been to detox?” Seaman asked. The answer was no.
“It’s OK, I’m good,” said Wardlow, laughing. “I’m drunk, so right now I ain’t scared. Give me a day or two, and I’m probably going to be frightened out of my wits.”
Over a million people submit to detox and rehab programs for alcohol addiction every year in this country. The odds going into rehab were against Wardlow. Studies show that 90 percent of people in recovery relapse.
Wardlow had a session with Linda Burns, head of nursing at Sunrise Detox.
“How much are you drinking a day, about?” Linda asked.
“Four, five, six …” replied Wardlow.
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse, one third of alcoholics in the United States are women.
Staff at both the Orchid and Sunrise Detox Center told “20/20? that about 95 percent of the women they pick up at the airport are intoxicated upon arrival. Wardlow was no exception.
A Sunrise Detox tech measured Wardlow’s blood alcohol content upon admission.
“You’re not too bad — .106,” the tech said.
“What does that mean?” said Wardlow. “Would I be arrested?”
“Oh, definitely, yeah.”
“I would be arrested.”
“Yeah.”
“Point-zero-8 is the limit, and I’m at point 1-plus over. I’m over the limit to drive a vehicle.”
“Yes, you would be wearing nice bracelets.”
For the next five days — standard for alcohol addiction — Wardlow remained at Sunrise. She was medicated with a drug called librium to eliminate the side effects of withdrawal, which can range from tremors and insomnia to delirium or even seizures.
From day one, Wardlow was restless.
“If you reached in your pocket right now and pulled out a beer, it would be really hard for me not to drink it,” she told “20/20.” “Quite honestly, it would.”
By day four, her impatience and boredom reached all-time highs.
“I have not had a good morning,” she said, talking to a portable camera “20/20? gave her to document her journey. “I have cried on more than one occasion today. I have come to the realization that this is the closest thing to a jail that I have ever been in.”
But it was only the beginning of a long and difficult journey.
The next step for Wardlow was the Orchid Recovery Center, a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center designed specifically to treat women.
“We’re just glad you’re here, Lynn,” said an Orchid staff member who welcomed her.
“Thank you,” said Wardlow. “I’m glad I’m here too.”
Drunken Moms: From Detox to Rehab
Normally, TV cameras are not permitted to see inside the walls of a rehab facility. But with Wardlow’s permission, the Orchid Recovery Center allowed “20/20? unprecedented access to their treatment process.
“You don’t know Lynn clean and sober,” Mindy Appel, Wardlow’s therapist at the Orchid, told her. “You don’t know that woman.”
Unlike at detox, Wardlow’s days at rehab would be packed, from six in the morning until nine at night. She would have individual and group therapy sessions mixed with yoga, meditation, accupuncture and art.
An all-female facility, the Orchid is run almost exclusively by women, many of whom have been through some type of addiction recovery of their own.
The Orchid places enormous weight on the honing of life skills, encouraging women to shop and cook for themselves — all of the things they’ll have to do back home. But sometimes, even a simple trip to the grocery store can spell trouble. Once a woman from the center drank vanilla extract from the store. It’s 24 percent alcohol. The woman drank five or six big bottles, staff said — and came back reeking of alcohol and walking funny.
For recovering alcoholics, triggers to resume drinking can be anything from beer commercials on TV to the wine store they used to frequent — anything that reminds them of drinking, said Orchid staff.
Wardlow’s heavy lifting for the next 30 days would happen inside the office of Appel, her therapist.
“We want to stay really focused, and I’m going to keep you on task here,” Appel told her.
During her first session, Wardlow confessed her reasons for drinking went back to her relationship with her father.
“So what was growing up like for you?” asked Appel.
“I had times of sadness,” said Wardlow. “My father was an alcoholic… When I was 15 he decided it was time to go … so he died.”
Genetics may also have had a role in Wardlow’s addiction. Studies show that children of alcoholics are four times more likely to develop the problem.
A week into her treatment, “20/20? co-anchor Elizabeth Vargas paid a visit to Wardlow at Orchid. She appeared more calm and focused but still struggled with her addiction.
Vargas asked her if it was hard.
“It’s really hard,” she said. “It is hard and it’s, and it’s hurtful, and you realize how many people that you’ve hurt. And my children are amazing. I mean, I look at them, and I know I’ve not been a bad mother. I’m like, I know I’m a good mother. I’ve mothered them well — but how much better could it have been if these past 10 years, I hadn’t been living in the bottom, in the bottom of a bottle?”
Wardlow described the cycle of her drinking.
“I wake up the next morning, you feel horrible, and you say, ‘I’m gonna do better. I’m gonna do better. I’m gonna do better. So, but I don’t feel very good today. So this afternoon, I’m just gonna have a beer.’” Which turns into “three or four or five or six.”
Are Mothers Drinking More?
The team of therapists at the Orchid said regrets and expectations about being the perfect mother are often what push a woman deeper into her addiction.
“There’s so many women that are so sophisticated at covering up and being, you know, the PTA mom and being the soccer mom and doing all things for everyone,” said Appel.
But are women, particularly mothers, drinking more — or are we just finding out about it more?
“I think we’re finding out about it more,” said Mindy Agler, another therapist on the Orchid team. “[It's] just not something you talk about. … If a man walks away from a family because he needs to focus on his recovery, everybody says OK, so he needs to do that. But if a woman leaves her family to go get treatment and then decides ‘You know what, I’m not ready, I got to go to a halfway house before I go back to my kids,’ everybody goes, ‘Oh my God.’”
That double standard and the stigma of alcoholism can keep a woman’s disease under wraps. But past traumas, the therapists say, can also play a role.
In her short time at the Orchid, Wardlow opened up about not only her alcoholic father but other traumatic experiences: an abortion at 17, and a horrific gang-rape on her 18th birthday.
“She identifies, from 15 to 18, these were horrible years for her,” said Appel. “That she’s never, never dealt with.”
The entire time, a question hung in the background: Would Wardlow make it through treatment, and would she be able to stay away from alcohol once she was back home?
“I’ll be honest with you, I’m scared as hell,” she said. “I’m scared, I’m scared to go home.
Wardlow left the Orchid with 30 days clean and a lifetime of hurdles in front of her. We visited Wardlow in Hattiesburg after her release. She was ready to add another day to her sobriety.
“This is my little tablet,” she said, indicating a pad of paper. “And I wad up yesterday and I write today down, put my little tablet back up there, and if I drink, I have to put that tablet on zero — and I don’t want to have to do that.”
The time back home had not always been easy.
“We had to relearn how to live with one another,” said Wardlow. “The first week or two was pretty volatile. Not in a physical way, but there was lots of screaming and gnashing of teeth.”
But there are signs of healing.
“We’re all really proud of her,” said Marina. “I know if she sets her mind to anything, that’s what she’s going to do. I’m just glad that she finally set her mind to it.”
“I think she’s trying to be more aware, and I think she’s trying to make up for, in some aspects, everything that’s happened and stuff,” said Jessy. “But I think she’s working on it. … I think she’ll do it. I believe in her.”
Wardlow had followed her care plan closely. She had daily phone calls with her sponsor and attended support group meetings regularly.
To stay with the recovery program, Wardlow can never consume a drop of alcohol — or take any habit-forming medication — again.
“No mood-altering drugs, as far as any type of benzos or opiates or whatever,” she said. “I was on tremizal for joint pain. Also I was taking lunesta to sleep, and I’m not taking that any more either.”
Wardlow left one support meeting with a chip marking how long it had been since she’d stopped drinking.
“Ninety days! 90 Days,” she said. “Big three months. Three months sober.”
By SEAN DOOLEY and SHANA DRUCKERMAN
Recovery & Support Groups
Support groups
One of our biggest stumbling blocks is that we try to manage our pain and addiction by ourselves. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states, “Without help it is too much for us.” In moving toward a solution, the book also states, “Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.” There are many people who have suffered as you are suffering, and whose very lives depend on helping people who are where they used to be, such as you. There are thousands of Alcoholics Anonymous/Narcotics Anonymous meetings scattered throughout the United States. There are also Chronic Pain Anonymous groups, although they are usually found in larger cities, being that they are fairly new.
There are many pain support groups that are not twelve-step in nature, but they offer the support we need from other people who also suffer from chronic pain. Treatment centers will usually help you locate these meetings, and can sometimes provide you with the name of a person who can help you get started.
The dawn of a new day
Reading this may have made you angry or sad. Many of us who are taught the tools of recovery initially think that we will be enslaved by it, that recovery is a prison sentence where we have to carry a ball and chain the rest of our lives. We do not realize that recovery is a quality way of life that can provide us with many rewards that most people do not receive. The Big Book states, “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will know how to handle situations, which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
These are known as the Promises. They are not called “maybes” for a reason. These are not things that might happen to you if you enter recovery, they are things that have to happen to you… I promise!
8 Factors To Consider When Choosing a Drug Rehab Program
Facing the fact that someone you love is not only suffering from drug addiction, but now must receive help to overcome the addiction, is difficult for anyone. Where should you start? Who do you turn to? What questions do you need to ask about drug treatment programs? Perhaps, you may have been at this point before, and you now feel a sense of hopelessness in finding a residential treatment center that will work this time around. Maybe, though, this is the first time you’ve had to take these steps to help someone you love. The process can feel overwhelming.
Ultimately, you want your loved one back. You want that person you love free from drugs. You want that person to live a healthy and productive life. By asking the right question on each of the following areas when choosing a residential drug treatment center, your chances of making this happen for your loved one will increase.
1.Success Rate –
What is the success rate of the residential drug treatment center? Obviously, the higher the success rate, the more likely your loved one will succeed. Ask to speak with graduates of the drug rehab facility or their families. Get real opinions from real people.
2.Methods –
What method does the drug treatment center use? Ask yourself if they are addressing all aspects of your loved one’s addiction, including what led them to drugs in the first place. Methods that only deal with one aspect of addiction are more likely to fail. Remember addiction results from a combination of many factors, including a lessening of morality and integrity and an increasing burden of guilt and shame. The life of an addict includes bad habits, poor health and difficulty facing problems. After speaking with the facility, ask yourself if they are handling not just the psychological aspects, but also the physical and mental aspects of addiction as well. Are they providing practical skills that will help your loved one succeed once the drug rehabilitation program is completed?
3.Services –
What services does the residential drug treatment center offer? This is not only for your loved one, but for you as well. Will they help with legal issues? Will they assist in an intervention? In other words, to what length will they go to make certain your loved one gets the drug treatment they need?
4.Staff –
Who are the staff members at the residential drug treatment center? The best trained staff will have had experience with drug addiction. They will not have learned about it in a book. Are they qualified for their positions? What real-life knowledge do they have with drug addiction? What is their reason for working in this field?
5.Follow-up Program –
What type of follow-up program does the residential drug treatment center offer? This is important. Sending a newly rehabilitated drug addict back into the world without any follow-up can be disastrous. Make sure that there is a program of this type in place. Good programs keep in touch over the phone regularly after one leaves the program.
6.Location –
Where is the residential drug treatment center located? A residential drug treatment center should be protected. Ask how easy it would be for your loved one to leave. Many addicts when first coming off drugs want to leave. Ensuring that this is difficult, while not seeming like a prison, increases the chances that the person will stay to finish.
7.Length –
How long does the residential drug treatment center take? Although the standard program is 28 days, if the residential drug treatment center offers a longer program, it is more likely your loved one will succeed. However, if the residential drug treatment center allows your loved one to work at his or her own pace, without imposing time constraints, your loved one has an even greater chance of overcoming drug addiction.
8.Price –
How much does the residential drug treatment center cost? Before eliminating any program because of its price, ask yourself this: What are they offering? Look back at the points above and determine what the drug rehab is truly giving to the one you love. Yes, the more it offers, the more likely the price will be higher. However, your loved one will have a greater chance at becoming a healthy productive member of society. How much is that person worth to you?
Choosing a residential drug treatment center can be difficult. Dealing with a loved one suffering from drug addiction is devastating. By breaking the process down into what is important and finding out the answers to the questions above, you will be able to make an informed choice as to which residential drug treatment program can best help you and your loved one. Drug addiction can be dealt with and overcome.
By John Frank
How to Conquer the Fear of Relapse
Relapse is not a four-letter word. That said, there is a lot of trepidation and many questions over the possibility of relapse – will it happen to me, what can I do to prevent it, will it happen again, does it mean I’m a failure, and so on. Addiction treatment professionals counsel that the best way to get past these fears is through education and skills training. Simply put, you need to learn as much as possible about relapse and coping mechanisms to help you prevent it.
Beyond what you learn in treatment, once you’re back in the real world, it may seem tough at times to remember what it is you’re supposed to do to remain clean and sober. Here are some tips that may help.
1. Have a Plan – for Every Day – You wouldn’t set off on a cross-country journey without a map and an itinerary for how to get there and what to do along the way. The same principle holds true for how you plan to live the next few years of your life in recovery. Hey, it’s a whole new world for you now. The old habits and routines simply won’t cut it anymore. Not only are they dangerous and can quickly land you back in trouble, but it’s just foolhardy not to have a plan. If you have been tardy in drawing up your plan, now’s the time to get going on it.
Where should you begin? Start with today. What are your goals for today? What do you want to achieve? It could be as simple as being on time for all your appointments, your job, seeing that you get all your errands done, make dinner for the family, work on your homework or hobby, whatever. The point is to put it down on paper. Jot everything down you can think of and then start prioritizing according to what’s most important to get done and what would be nice to get done. Go all the way through the list until you’ve assigned a priority to each item.
Next, map out your plan for tomorrow, and then the rest of the week. Don’t worry if you can’t think of everything to put down all at once. This will get easier the more you do it. And you can add items as you think of them. Also, remember to cross things off your list as you complete them. This is important as it builds your self-esteem and self-confidence as you reach your goals, however minor or major.
Now, get to work on doing the things on your list. Time management experts advise that it’s tempting to go for the easiest items, leaving the tougher ones for last. That may work for some people, but most of us waste our time doing the small stuff and never get to the big jobs. Even though we’re talking about recovery here, the point is valid. Try to balance doing easy tasks – cleaning your desk, picking up supplies – with the more challenging ones – assembling materials for tax returns, painting the garage, etc.
2. Acknowledge Relapse Could Happen – There’s no sense hiding behind a wall of denial. You can’t avoid a relapse by refusing to recognize that the potential is there, and it’s real. Experts recommend that you acknowledge that you could falter, give in to a craving or fall in with the wrong crowd again. Just acknowledge that relapse could happen despite your best intentions. Just because you say it aloud (or think it) does not mean that it will happen. Just the contrary. By stating that you know the potential is there gives you the power to be more in control over your actions. Remember, it isn’t the thought that causes relapse, but the action that follows. By expressing the truth – relapse could happen – you deprive the thought of the power to haunt you and make you feel as if you can’t do anything about it. You can, and you will, be able to deal with the pitfalls of relapse.
3. Don’t Dwell on It – After you’ve acknowledged that relapse could happen, don’t dwell on the thought. You need to get on with your life and the business of daily activities. The more you are actively involved in something productive – whether it’s with your hands or your mind – the less likely you are to get caught up in the quagmire of wondering what if, how long, why, and what can I do thinking. A good practice to follow – and this holds true whenever the ugly thought of relapse pops into your head – is to get out and take a walk. Physically get up and go out of the house or office and walk around the block, or parking lot, or on a trail, in the mall, wherever, just walk. The act of walking and breathing fresh air will deflate the blockage of nasty thoughts. It may be a diversion, but it’s a healthy one, and one that will produce a dramatic change of mood.
4. Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones – Here’s another easy and effective strategy. When something bad occurs to you, a negative thought or series of thoughts that plague you and keep you from your tasks, or sleeping, eating, or enjoying any activity, make a conscious effort to replace the negative thought with a positive one. Let’s take an example. Say you begin thinking about all the fun you’re missing by not being with your drinking friends, or you long to be with your buddies smoking a joint and knocking back beer. Turn that negative into a positive by thinking instead about how happy your son or daughter is when you give them a big hug or the joy you feel when something you say or do makes your wife smile. What you’re doing, in effect, is transforming a negative emotion into a positive one. Once you’re in the positive mode, it’s pretty hard to slip back into the negative. You have to really try hard to do that – and who wants to be negative, anyway? So, the next time negative thoughts threaten to derail your sobriety, veer your thinking toward something uplifting, positive, loving and promising. And this time, do allow the positive thinking to remain with you.
5. Find an Outlet – Let’s face it. We all need something we can turn to that occupies our time, and our concentration. You need to find an outlet, something you enjoy or think you may enjoy. It doesn’t matter what it is, either. It could be that you’ve always wanted to learn how to snowboard or parasail or take up golf. Maybe you hanker to create jewelry or paint in oils or water colors. Fancy conquering a foreign language? Becoming a pastry or gourmet chef? Working with your hands in carpentry, woodworking, sculpture, or ceramics? For some in recovery, going back to school is high on their list of priorities. Completing or beginning a degree program, learning a trade, or just taking some classes is certainly well within reach. You don’t have to go full-time. There are part-time, weekend, and evening classes that may work out for you. This applies to learning anything new. If you have the will, there will be a way. Look into what you can work into your schedule and, yes, put this on your list of things to do.
6. Seek Support – No one expects you to be able to figure everything out on your own all the time. You’d have to be superhuman to be able to do that, and none of us is that perfect. In fact, we’re all human beings, and, as such, we need the help of others from time to time. This is not a sign of weakness, but strength. You will find that if you seek the support of others when you encounter a rough patch, or stress builds up and you feel that you are at a breaking point, or you just need someone to talk to that understands, being with others in your support group can make all the difference in the world. In fact, it may very well be the single most important part of your recovery, the needed bit of assistance that allows you to remain clean and sober.
Your support network could be members of your immediate family – your spouse, children, and other adult family members – or your trusted friends, co-workers, member of the clergy, therapist or other counselor. For many in recovery, their support network includes their 12-step group sponsor and members. The beauty of your 12-step alliance is that it is always available to you. Your group asks nothing of you except your uncompromising desire to be clean and sober, and to help others with your support as you are able. Besides, these people have all been in situations like yours. Each of them has struggled with the cravings and urges. Many have relapsed and gotten back on track with the support and encouragement of fellow members.
Whatever your support network consists of, don’t be afraid to use it. Sometimes you just need someone to listen, not talk. The shoe may very well be on the other foot later on in your recovery. At that time, you will be in the position to be able to give back to another in need of assistance. For now, make good use of your support system. It’s one of the best things you can do to conquer your fear of relapse.
7. Be Prepared – The old adage that “The best defense is a good offense” is especially true when it comes to recovery. Another is, “Be prepared for any eventuality.” What do these two sayings have in common? They both involve careful preparation. Here we are talking about the preparedness or readiness list you should have in place just in case you are tempted to relapse.
What does such a list entail? First of all, it should include a list of names and telephone numbers of people whom you trust that you can call for help. If you find yourself tempted to go into a bar or are already there and feel you may not be able to stop yourself from drinking, call your sponsor or friend and have them talk you through it or come get you – whatever it takes, whatever you need. It could also be a series of things that you will do to prevent you from giving in to your cravings. Again, this will be unique to you, and only you know what may work or not. You could discuss this with your therapist or 12-step sponsor or group members, but in the end, it is your personal preparedness list. In fact, when some people find they’re at the end of their rope and are about to pick up a drink or get back into drugs, they head right off to a 12-step meeting. That alone may be enough to sidetrack the temptation and keep them clean and sober.
8. Don’t Beat Yourself Up – It’s important to keep things in perspective when it comes to your recovery. Some days will be up days. Some will be down. That’s not only the nature of being in recovery. It’s the fabric of life. We all have our ups and downs. Being in recovery tends to make us think our lives are more difficult or different than everyone else’s, but that’s only true to the degree that we believe it to be so. It isn’t really that our lives are so unique or that our challenges are any more or less formidable than the next person’s.
Where this sense of perspective is important applies to days when it seems to us as if we’re not accomplishing our goals fast enough, or that we have failed to get where we believe we should be at this time. Again, this is not unlike your neighbor down the street or the guy at work or the student you attend class with. Each of those individuals has times when he or she feels disheartened about progress or lack thereof. Instead of harping on our failures, the better strategy is to look forward to the rest of today and tomorrow, and to devising new and more creative ways of realizing our dreams, coming to grips with our problems, and overcoming our obstacles. Beating yourself up over your shortcomings – real or perceived – won’t accomplish anything other than to make you feel worse than you should. Life in recovery, like life for everyone else, is a series of incremental steps. Not all steps are in a straight line forward. Some are lateral first and then forward. Some backtrack and then move forward. The point is that the journey continues. Keep the horizon in view and take the steps necessary to move forward.
9. Get Back on Track – Okay, some of us will relapse. We’ve acknowledged right at the outset that it could happen. So, if it does happen, then what? You get right back on track, that’s what. Addiction treatment professionals say that the worst mistake those in recovery can make is to give up, to feel that they are failures and are doomed to a life of downhill spiral. If you falter, take a drink, smoke a joint, pop too many pills, you need to resume your regimen of 12-step meetings, counseling, seeking support and redouble your resolve to live clean and sober. It’s as simple as that. You just get back on the schedule that worked for you before. In fact, figure out what worked best to keep you from relapsing and then do more of that. Your support network (sponsor, counselor, therapist, spouse, etc.) may have other suggestions that you can try.
10. Learn From Your Missteps – If you do have a relapse, and many in early recovery do, the best thing you can do for your future is to learn from what went wrong. This goes beyond tips and techniques to keep you from caving in to your cravings and urges. It also applies to your overall strategy, possibly your goals. Perhaps you have been thinking too short-term. Lacking a long-term goal, many in recovery become disillusioned and disheartened when things don’t turn out the way they want or planned in the short haul. You need something to work toward that is far enough off that it requires a series of steps, or mini-goals, to achieve. In other words, you need something of value to work towards. This should involve a meaningful goal, perhaps for you, but also for your family. It could be providing for your child’s or children’s college, or buying your first or new home. It could be finally becoming financially independent, or again being financially stable after a period of debts due to your addiction.
You may also find that you need to cultivate a new group of friends. If part of what went wrong is that you wound up hanging out with friends that use drugs and/or alcohol, you know that you need to stop being around others who will only tempt you back into your old habits. You simply cannot afford to be around alcohol, drugs, or other addictive behaviors. Period.
Bottom line: Relapse does happen. It isn’t the end of the world. With the support of your loved ones, trusted friends, 12-step sponsor, members, counselor or therapist, you will be able to get through it and past it and resume your recovery. So, rather than worry and be afraid of the what if and why and how could this happen, concentrate more on the business of charting your plan for your future. Then go out and make it happen.
Source: Drug Addiction Treatment
Why medical detoxification alone isn’t enough
One of the first and most difficult steps that any person faces when entering a drug or alcohol rehabilitation center is detoxification – the medical process of riding the body of the toxins it has stored during years or decades of drug or alcohol abuse. This process can be devastating from both a psychological and physical standpoint, which is why people who enter an alcohol or drug rehab program often will need detox in order to get through the painful withdrawal symptoms that otherwise might lead them to give up on the idea of quitting.
Detox at an addiction center can take days or even weeks, depending on what the person was abusing, how much they were using and for how long. However, just because a person has completed medical detox doesn’t mean that they are through with their rehab program. In fact, detox is just one small step in the larger process of freedom from drug and alcohol dependency.
When a person becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, they aren’t just addicted to the substance they are abusing – they become addicted to the flood of pleasurable stimuli that the substance provides to them. No drug rehab program can be successful without changing the mindset of a person and helping them to understand how their addiction has changed them and what they need to do to move forward.
In addition to the lessons about moving forward that are taught at a rehab center, addicts also must address the root causes of their addiction. The majority of addicts start abusing drugs or alcohol because of other factors such as genetics, unhappy childhoods or unstable current lives. Without addressing these underlying factors, most people will eventually fall right back into their patterns of addiction and dependence.
For all of these reasons, it’s important to do more than just “get dry” when trying to quit drinking. Long-term abstinence requires a total rehab program that addresses every aspect of the drug or alcohol addiction.
By Sarah Michaels
Addiction & Recovery
When I first began using pain medicine it was innocent enough, I had a back injury from a car accident and was prescribed Vicodin by my physician. I had 2 herniated discs and the first few months after my accident I was in almost constant pain and needed the pain killers in order to function. I was going to work everyday and performing to the best of my ability. I was also still leading a very active social life but I began to feel the need for more and more pain medication. My descent into addiction was quick and began when I found myself taking more medicine than I was prescribed. I was supposed to take three pills a day, as needed for the pain, and I can still remember the first time I took an extra dose of Vicodin and thinking to myself that it might not be a good idea.
I began to run out of my prescriptions early and be left with nothing to treat the very real pain that I still had plus the drug habit that was growing. I would go to the pharmacy and make up all kinds of stories to tell the pharmacist in order for him to fill my medications early. At that point I knew that I had a drug problem and that I might be a drug addict, but I was not ready to quit. I continued to use for three miserable years until I finally had enough. I was waking up sick every morning and needed to swallow up to ten pain killers in order to get myself out of bed. When I was ready I knew that I had to go to a medical inpatient detox and come off of the prescription medication slowly. I never thought that I would be able to stop using drugs and now I am in recovery and loving life again!
What is Addiction?
Drug or alcohol addiction meets two criteria:
- You have difficulty controlling how much you use or how long you use. For example, one painkiller leads to more pills, or one line of cocaine leads to more.
- You continue to use even though it has negative consequences to your life. For example, you continue to drink even though it has hurt your relationships.
Those two criteria define all addictions. They are true for alcohol and drug addiction, but they’re also true for gambling addiction, eating disorders, and sexual addiction.
There are different levels of addictions. At one end of the spectrum is the non-functioning addict. They’ve lost their job and have to use everyday. It’s what people think addiction is like, but that stereotype is rare.
At the other end of the spectrum is the functioning addict. They still have a job and their relationships are relatively intact, but their life is suffering because of their addiction. That is the most common scenario. You don’t have to suffer major losses to have an addiction.
The consequences of addiction get worse over time. Addiction is a progressive disease. It’s never easy to quit. But if you’ve already suffered negative consequences and don’t want them to get worse, there’s never a better time to quit than now.
The Role of Family History
Addiction is due 50 percent to genetic predisposition and 50 percent to poor coping skills. This has been confirmed by numerous studies. One study looked at 861 identical twin pairs and 653 fraternal (non-identical) twin pairs. When one identical twin was addicted to alcohol, the other twin had a high probability of being addicted. But when one non-identical twin was addicted to alcohol, the other twin did not necessarily have an addiction. Based on the differences between the identical and non-identical twins, the study showed 50-60% of addiction is due to genetic factors. Those numbers have been confirmed by other studies.
The children of addicts are 8 times more likely to develop an addiction. One study looked at 231 people who were diagnosed with drug or alcohol addiction, and compared them to 61 people who did not have an addiction. Then it looked at the first-degree relatives (parents, siblings, or children) of those people. It discovered that if a parent has a drug or alcohol addiction, the child had an 8 times greater chance of developing an addiction.
Why are there genes for addiction? We all have the genetic predisposition for addiction because there is an evolutionary advantage to that. When an animal eats a certain food that it likes, there is an advantage to associating pleasure with that food so that the animal will look for that food in the future. In other words the potential for addiction is hardwired into our brain. Everyone has eaten too much of their favorite food even though they knew it wasn’t good for them.
Although everyone has the potential for addiction, some people are more predisposed to addiction than others. Some people drink alcoholically from the beginning. Other people start out as a moderate drinker and then become alcoholics later on. How does that happen?
Repeatedly abusing pain medicine or alcohol permanently rewires your brain. If you start out with a low genetic predisposition for addiction, you can still end up with an addiction. If you repeatedly abuse drugs or alcohol because of poor coping skills, then you’ll permanently rewire your brain. Every time you abuse alcohol, you’ll strengthen the wiring associated with drinking, and you’ll chase that buzz even more. The more you chase the effect of alcohol, the greater your chance of eventually developing an addiction.
Your genes are not your destiny. The 50% of addiction that is caused by poor coping skills is where you can make a difference. Lots of people have come from addicted families but managed to overcome their family history and live happy lives. You can use this opportunity to change your life. (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org)
If you think that you have a problem with drugs or alcohol visit www.sunrisedetox.com for medical detox services. Sunrise Detox offers the highest quality care with a compassionate and understanding staff that will treat you with respect. They offer a comfortable home like atmosphere in which you can begin the road to recovery. Detox is the first step to recovery from drug addiction so act now and take control of your life.
What to Expect in Detox
Detoxing from alcohol and drugs is something that should be done with medical advice and care, and should be backed up with counseling in order to help the alcoholic get past the psychological dependence as well as the physical dependence on alcohol. The first goal in an alcohol and drug detox program will be to help the person get through the symptoms they will experience from withdrawal, including any psychiatric problems they may experience. This is usually the first step in a total detox program and can be very effective if done under the right circumstances.
Everyone goes through detox differently and what any one individual may go through will depend largely on a person’s age, frequency and amount of use, as well as any underlying medical issues they may have. For the most part, one can expect to experience withdrawal symptoms such a nausea, vomiting, tremors, sweats and anxiety. In extreme cases some people also may have convulsions or seizures. These are just a few of the reasons why it’s important to have proper medical support in order to help with an alcohol and drug detox program. Many of these effects can be lessened with medications and with proper supervision. On the other hand, some people get through it with very few symptoms. There is no way to tell how any one person will react. Supervised detox is always the best approach. It helps knowing that you have support there if you need it.
Once you have gone through the detox part of the program it’s important to realize that this is just the first step. You’ve managed to eliminate alcohol and drugs from your body but there are still steps that need to be done to ensure that you don’t return to drinking or using again. In order to have a complete recovery it’s important to understand that you now will need to make lifestyle changes in order to increase your odds for a sustained recovery. Learning to live without alcohol as a crutch can be very difficult, but the longer-term benefits of a new and happier life are well worth it.
During the first 30-90 days of a detox program is the time when people are most vulnerable. This is why it’s important to effect changes in your lifestyle as well as getting psychological support. Lifestyle changes can mean staying away from friends who are heavy drinkers, and who may not understand what you have gone through and what you are now trying to accomplish. Staying away from bars or other places where alcohol is served, including your home. Your family will be able to understand the need for you to not be around other people who are drinking. It’s also important to understand the meaning of a dry drunk. This is a person who has ceased drinking and eliminated alcohol from their system, but has done nothing to change the emotional aspects of abuse. This is another aspect of how your lifestyle must change. The more you work with a counselor, the more you will understand that it also takes emotional changes in order to remain sober.
Emotional support from friends and family is also crucial when you are going through alcohol detox. Rehab treatment centers that help people detox also provide support for them through counseling or through a 12-step program such as AA. It is important for the alcoholic to take actions to help in their recovery, and going to counseling regularly is a part of that. If you are on medications you need to take them as directed and never stop it without consulting a doctor. It’s also important to include the family of anyone going through alcohol detox, and allow him or her to offer support and help and be a part of the recovery process. In the end though it is up to the alcoholic to do the necessary work to effect a complete recovery, and then take the needed steps to remain in recovery.
Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome
After I went to detox and rehab I was ready for a greeting card life full of rainbows. Of course that is not how it worked out, I still had to deal with life on life’s terms. When I was using drugs I was in a constant state of euphoria and rarely, if ever thought about reality. When I got clean and sober I was forced to see and feel everything set before me and it wasn’t always easy. The first few days out of rehab were especially difficult because I was so fragile and used to living in a controlled environment. In the treatment center mealtime was set by a schedule as was wakeup time and bedtime but in the real world I was responsible for setting these limits for myself. When I was using drugs I would just do whatever I wanted when I felt like it and I certainly didn’t adhere to any type of schedule. There were many things I had to relearn about life when I got off drugs. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in recovery was that I was not in control of anything or anyone else besides myself- and half of the time I didn’t even feel in control of that either.
Being newly detoxed from drugs my body was still going through PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). PAWS tends to create in individuals an excess of emotion including hyper activity. Even small events of little consequence may loom large in someone’s mind and create strong (not being able to bond thoughts together) reactions. This may lead others to suspect a relapse or create social withdrawal. Shame emotions may be noted. Conversely, they may notice a numbing of emotions. The inability to feel impairs proper emotional bonding with friends and family during the early recovery process. It also impairs the recovery process itself as the individual struggles with trying to feel the resentments, anger, guilt, shame and other emotions common in recovery. A great resourse to find out more information about addiction and to fill out your own information if you need help is www.painmedaddiction.com. Go to their website and they can help to guide you in the right direction and answer any questions you may have about addiction.
Choosing the Right Detox
There is a huge difference in the quality of care from one detox center to another. The uneducated consumer may not know the difference but I have been to my fair share of detox’s and I am here to share my experience with you so that you can receive the highest level quality of care possible. One mistake that people often make when deciding on which detox center to go into is that they think they are limited to the facilities in their immediate area, which is entirely untrue. Drug dependence is a serious physical condition that requires emergency medical care and I know that when I am sick I want to be treated by the best and have the most well trained professionals by my side.
The best detox center in my experience has been The Sunrise Detox located in Lake Worth, Florida. They have a gentle and loving approach towards drug detoxification patients and treat all of their clients with dignity and respect. The staff at Sunrise Detox is the most caring and genuine that I have ever encountered. They actually care and want to see you recover and that is why there is such a comfortable and safe feeling there.
According to the Sunrise Detox website: “We believe that recovery from alcohol and drug addiction should be dignified. We’ve gone to great lengths to create a feeling of home at Sunrise Detox. There are no locked doors, and Sunrise Detox is not an antiseptic hospital environment. Our clients reside in comfortable, modern, elegantly furnished rooms, with plenty of space for personal belongings, and they are not required to wear uncomfortable hospital gowns during detoxification. Individuals can dress in the clothing of their choice, and have easy access to in-house laundry facilities. We also operate our own full-service, on-site gourmet kitchen which serves a diverse menu of nutritionally balanced meals and snacks.” It makes a huge difference to be able to wear your own clothing and not be forced into a medical gown while going through withdrawal. Each and every creature comfort that is afforded at Sunrise Detox makes the process of coming off drugs easier to bear.
The most praiseworthy aspect of Sunrise Detox is that they understand what a comfortable detox means and they don’t see detox as a time to make the patient suffer. Through a comfortable, medically monitored detoxification process they aid their clients in their first steps towards recovery.
