Detox Recovery

Not long after attending my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous I began to hear people using the phrase Higher Power and even talking about God.  This was one of the things that kept me skeptical about AA.  I had always had a hard time relating to God and I was petrified that I couldn’t stay off drugs and alcohol because of my aversion to organized religion.  Luckily I obtained a temporary sponsor at my very first meeting and after a few months of going to AA meetings regularly I finally told her about my dilemma.  It was explained to me that Alcoholics Anonymous was not a religious program and that I did not have to believe in anyone else’s concept of God.  That put me at ease for a while but I kept hearing people sharing in meetings about their Higher Power and I was still confused and apprehensive. 

When the time came that I began to go through the twelve steps I had been clean and sober for over three months and still felt disconnected from God.  The first step was to admit that I was powerless over drugs and alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable, which was easy for me.  However the second step was no easy feat, “We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”  I went over and over the words in my head and tried to think what it meant to me and how I could relate to this concept of a power greater than myself.  My sponsor told me that she had a similar experience when she was a newcomer and that all that I needed at that time was to believe that there was something in the universe that was more powerful than me.  I had heard of people using the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous as their Higher Power because they felt that the group was more powerful than they were alone.  That idea made sense to me and for the time being it would suffice.  I was hopeful that in time my relationship to God would blossom and develop as was the experience of others in AA.