Detox Recovery

After I went to detox and rehab I was ready for a greeting card life full of rainbows.  Of course that is not how it worked out, I still had to deal with life on life’s terms.  When I was using drugs I was in a constant state of euphoria and rarely, if ever thought about reality.  When I got clean and sober I was forced to see and feel everything set before me and it wasn’t always easy.  The first few days out of rehab were especially difficult because I was so fragile and used to living in a controlled environment.  In the treatment center mealtime was set by a schedule as was wakeup time and bedtime but in the real world I was responsible for setting these limits for myself.  When I was using drugs I would just do whatever I wanted when I felt like it and I certainly didn’t adhere to any type of schedule.  There were many things I had to relearn about life when I got off drugs.  One of the hardest lessons I had to learn in recovery was that I was not in control of anything or anyone else besides myself- and half of the time I didn’t even feel in control of that either. 

Being newly detoxed from drugs my body was still going through PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome).  PAWS tends to create in individuals an excess of emotion including hyper activity. Even small events of little consequence may loom large in someone’s mind and create strong (not being able to bond thoughts together) reactions. This may lead others to suspect a relapse or create social withdrawal. Shame emotions may be noted. Conversely, they may notice a numbing of emotions. The inability to feel impairs proper emotional bonding with friends and family during the early recovery process. It also impairs the recovery process itself as the individual struggles with trying to feel the resentments, anger, guilt, shame and other emotions common in recovery.  A great resourse to find out more information about addiction and to fill out your own information if you need help is www.painmedaddiction.com.  Go to their website and they can help to guide you in the right direction and answer any questions you may have about addiction.