Mom Hits Bottom After Years of Drinking

Lynn Wardlow says concern for her health and family helped convince her to quit.

At the end of a country road, inside the walls of a quaint and calm Hattiesburg, Miss., home, a family was in crisis.

Lynn Wardlow, a 50-year-old wife and mother of three, had been a drinker for more than 20 years. All the while, though, she ran a family business and raised her children.

In January, “20/20? visited Wardlow. It was the day before she’d planned to give up alcohol for good.

“My hands are shaking,” said Wardlow as she packed her bags. “God, I hope I remembered to bring underwear.”

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In the morning, Wardlow would travel from the Gulf Coast to Palm Beach, Fla., check herself into a medical facility for detox and then enter a 30-day rehab program for her alcohol addiction.

Meanwhile, Wardlow planned one last hurrah. She took a bottle from a cabinet in her bedroom.

“Would this be my best choice for my last bottle of wine?” she asked.

The last year in the Wardlow home had been particularly difficult, especially for the children — Bo, 21; Jessy, 20; and Marina, 17.

“She’s been drinking every night for as far back as I don’t even know,” said Bo. “The last year there’s been a lot of drama, and it’d be nice if things were just normal for even just a little while.”

Wardlow poured herself some wine. “My kids want me to just stop, stop, stop, but I like, I don’t think I can just stop,” she said.

“And if I did, I don’t know if I would feel very good, or if we might have to go to the hospital, because I just stopped after I’ve been going, go, go, go for so long.”

Wardlow’s children have witnessed things no child should ever see: their mother passed out in her closet, in a drunken rage at a bookstore, in a car attempting to drive after an alcohol-infused fight.

“It’s hard to see someone you love have to be addicted to something in order to feel better,” said Marina.

“It makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong,” said Jessy.

Drunken Moms: ‘When She Gets Like That’

The kids say their mother’s drinking had reached a critical point. Last April, Wardlow was diagnosed with hepatitis C, unrelated to her alcoholism. Unless she quit drinking, she could die.

But even the threat of losing her life, the family said, hadn’t stopped Wardlow from consuming alcohol.

“I want my mom to get better and not just for our sake but for her sake for her health,” said Jessy.

Wardlow’s last night at home was tense. The alcohol fueled her anxiety of what was to come.

“I think after two drinks, I’m like, you know what, these people aggravate me,” said Wardlow, who ran the family’s ceiling construction business. “And they aggravate me during the course of the day, and at the end of the day, I have a couple of drinks.”

The kids knew better than to stick around once Lynn started drinking. Wardlow’s husband, Bob, soon became a target.

“If you want to spend more time with Bill O’Reilly and your computer then go ahead,” Wardlow cracked.

“When she gets like that, conversations can turn to arguments,” said Bob.

“Or being an a**hole can turn to arguments,” said Wardlow. “Maybe I’m just able to say, you know what, [I've] had it up to here!”

The next morning, her head a little clearer, Wardlow acknowledged that rehab may be her last chance.

“I’ve affected my children. … Our relationships would be different if alcohol wasn’t a part of my life,” she said.

But just before she walked out the door, the leftover wine from the night before called to her.

“I’m not going to drink that,” Wardlow said, wavering before she gave in and took a sip.

Wardlow’s family walked her down the steps. She gave them kisses. She grew emotional.

“I’m not the only person who needs to be healed,” said Wardlow. “I’m not the only person who has been affected by this.

“It’s gonna be good,” she assured her famliy. “I’m going to get better.”

Two planes, three bloody mary’s and two beers later, Wardlow landed in Florida.

She was greeted by Loren Seaman from the Orchid Recovery Center, where Wardlow would surrender herself for treatment.

“Did you drink?” Seaman asked.

“Well, hell yeah,” Wardlow said.

Wardlow and Seaman had been talking for weeks on the phone to prepare for her arrival.

But before her bags had even make it downstairs, a shoeless Wardlow headed off for one more drink.

“We’re going to make a new martini,” Wardlow said. “It’s called the Lynn’s-quitting-drinking-and-going-to-rehab martini. Ready?

Drunken Moms: Tough Recovery Odds

Finally, it was time for Seaman to sign Wardlow into the center.

“Have you ever been to detox?” Seaman asked. The answer was no.

“It’s OK, I’m good,” said Wardlow, laughing. “I’m drunk, so right now I ain’t scared. Give me a day or two, and I’m probably going to be frightened out of my wits.”

Over a million people submit to detox and rehab programs for alcohol addiction every year in this country. The odds going into rehab were against Wardlow. Studies show that 90 percent of people in recovery relapse.

Wardlow had a session with Linda Burns, head of nursing at Sunrise Detox.

“How much are you drinking a day, about?” Linda asked.

“Four, five, six …” replied Wardlow.

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse, one third of alcoholics in the United States are women.

Staff at both the Orchid and Sunrise Detox Center told “20/20? that about 95 percent of the women they pick up at the airport are intoxicated upon arrival. Wardlow was no exception.

A Sunrise Detox tech measured Wardlow’s blood alcohol content upon admission.

“You’re not too bad — .106,” the tech said.

“What does that mean?” said Wardlow. “Would I be arrested?”

“Oh, definitely, yeah.”

“I would be arrested.”

“Yeah.”

“Point-zero-8 is the limit, and I’m at point 1-plus over. I’m over the limit to drive a vehicle.”

“Yes, you would be wearing nice bracelets.”

For the next five days — standard for alcohol addiction — Wardlow remained at Sunrise. She was medicated with a drug called librium to eliminate the side effects of withdrawal, which can range from tremors and insomnia to delirium or even seizures.

From day one, Wardlow was restless.

“If you reached in your pocket right now and pulled out a beer, it would be really hard for me not to drink it,” she told “20/20.” “Quite honestly, it would.”

By day four, her impatience and boredom reached all-time highs.

“I have not had a good morning,” she said, talking to a portable camera “20/20? gave her to document her journey. “I have cried on more than one occasion today. I have come to the realization that this is the closest thing to a jail that I have ever been in.”

But it was only the beginning of a long and difficult journey.

The next step for Wardlow was the Orchid Recovery Center, a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center designed specifically to treat women.

“We’re just glad you’re here, Lynn,” said an Orchid staff member who welcomed her.

“Thank you,” said Wardlow. “I’m glad I’m here too.”

Drunken Moms: From Detox to Rehab

Normally, TV cameras are not permitted to see inside the walls of a rehab facility. But with Wardlow’s permission, the Orchid Recovery Center allowed “20/20? unprecedented access to their treatment process.

“You don’t know Lynn clean and sober,” Mindy Appel, Wardlow’s therapist at the Orchid, told her. “You don’t know that woman.”

Unlike at detox, Wardlow’s days at rehab would be packed, from six in the morning until nine at night. She would have individual and group therapy sessions mixed with yoga, meditation, accupuncture and art.

An all-female facility, the Orchid is run almost exclusively by women, many of whom have been through some type of addiction recovery of their own.

The Orchid places enormous weight on the honing of life skills, encouraging women to shop and cook for themselves — all of the things they’ll have to do back home. But sometimes, even a simple trip to the grocery store can spell trouble. Once a woman from the center drank vanilla extract from the store. It’s 24 percent alcohol. The woman drank five or six big bottles, staff said — and came back reeking of alcohol and walking funny.

For recovering alcoholics, triggers to resume drinking can be anything from beer commercials on TV to the wine store they used to frequent — anything that reminds them of drinking, said Orchid staff.

Wardlow’s heavy lifting for the next 30 days would happen inside the office of Appel, her therapist.

“We want to stay really focused, and I’m going to keep you on task here,” Appel told her.

During her first session, Wardlow confessed her reasons for drinking went back to her relationship with her father.

“So what was growing up like for you?” asked Appel.

“I had times of sadness,” said Wardlow. “My father was an alcoholic… When I was 15 he decided it was time to go … so he died.”

Genetics may also have had a role in Wardlow’s addiction. Studies show that children of alcoholics are four times more likely to develop the problem.

A week into her treatment, “20/20? co-anchor Elizabeth Vargas paid a visit to Wardlow at Orchid. She appeared more calm and focused but still struggled with her addiction.

Vargas asked her if it was hard.

“It’s really hard,” she said. “It is hard and it’s, and it’s hurtful, and you realize how many people that you’ve hurt. And my children are amazing. I mean, I look at them, and I know I’ve not been a bad mother. I’m like, I know I’m a good mother. I’ve mothered them well — but how much better could it have been if these past 10 years, I hadn’t been living in the bottom, in the bottom of a bottle?”

Wardlow described the cycle of her drinking.

“I wake up the next morning, you feel horrible, and you say, ‘I’m gonna do better. I’m gonna do better. I’m gonna do better. So, but I don’t feel very good today. So this afternoon, I’m just gonna have a beer.’” Which turns into “three or four or five or six.”

Are Mothers Drinking More?

The team of therapists at the Orchid said regrets and expectations about being the perfect mother are often what push a woman deeper into her addiction.

“There’s so many women that are so sophisticated at covering up and being, you know, the PTA mom and being the soccer mom and doing all things for everyone,” said Appel.

But are women, particularly mothers, drinking more — or are we just finding out about it more?

“I think we’re finding out about it more,” said Mindy Agler, another therapist on the Orchid team. “[It's] just not something you talk about. … If a man walks away from a family because he needs to focus on his recovery, everybody says OK, so he needs to do that. But if a woman leaves her family to go get treatment and then decides ‘You know what, I’m not ready, I got to go to a halfway house before I go back to my kids,’ everybody goes, ‘Oh my God.’”

That double standard and the stigma of alcoholism can keep a woman’s disease under wraps. But past traumas, the therapists say, can also play a role.

In her short time at the Orchid, Wardlow opened up about not only her alcoholic father but other traumatic experiences: an abortion at 17, and a horrific gang-rape on her 18th birthday.

“She identifies, from 15 to 18, these were horrible years for her,” said Appel. “That she’s never, never dealt with.”

The entire time, a question hung in the background: Would Wardlow make it through treatment, and would she be able to stay away from alcohol once she was back home?

“I’ll be honest with you, I’m scared as hell,” she said. “I’m scared, I’m scared to go home.

Wardlow left the Orchid with 30 days clean and a lifetime of hurdles in front of her. We visited Wardlow in Hattiesburg after her release. She was ready to add another day to her sobriety.

“This is my little tablet,” she said, indicating a pad of paper. “And I wad up yesterday and I write today down, put my little tablet back up there, and if I drink, I have to put that tablet on zero — and I don’t want to have to do that.”

The time back home had not always been easy.

“We had to relearn how to live with one another,” said Wardlow. “The first week or two was pretty volatile. Not in a physical way, but there was lots of screaming and gnashing of teeth.”

But there are signs of healing.

“We’re all really proud of her,” said Marina. “I know if she sets her mind to anything, that’s what she’s going to do. I’m just glad that she finally set her mind to it.”

“I think she’s trying to be more aware, and I think she’s trying to make up for, in some aspects, everything that’s happened and stuff,” said Jessy. “But I think she’s working on it. … I think she’ll do it. I believe in her.”

Wardlow had followed her care plan closely. She had daily phone calls with her sponsor and attended support group meetings regularly.

To stay with the recovery program, Wardlow can never consume a drop of alcohol — or take any habit-forming medication — again.

“No mood-altering drugs, as far as any type of benzos or opiates or whatever,” she said. “I was on tremizal for joint pain. Also I was taking lunesta to sleep, and I’m not taking that any more either.”

Wardlow left one support meeting with a chip marking how long it had been since she’d stopped drinking.

“Ninety days! 90 Days,” she said. “Big three months. Three months sober.”

By SEAN DOOLEY and SHANA DRUCKERMAN

Signs of Drug Abuse & Addiction

What causes drug abuse and addiction?

What makes one person abuse drugs to the point of losing their home, their family and their job, while another does not? There is no one simple reason. Drug abuse and addiction is due to many factors. A powerful force in addiction is the inability to self- soothe or get relief from untreated mental or physical pain. Without the self-resilience and support to handle stress, loneliness or depression, drugs can be a tempting way to deal with the situation. Unfortunately, due to the changes drugs make to the brain, it can only take a few times or even one time to be on the road to addiction. Some other risk factors include:

  • Family history of addiction. While the interplay between genetics and environment is not entirely clear, if you have a family history of addiction, you are at higher risk for abusing drugs.
  • History of mental illness. Drug abuse can worsen mental illness or even create new symptoms. See dual diagnosis for more information on mental illness and drug abuse.
  • Untreated physical pain. Without medical supervision, pain medications or illegal drugs like heroin can rapidly become addictive.
  • Peer pressure. If people around you are doing drugs, it can be difficult to resist the pressure to try them, especially if you are a teenager.

Signs and symptoms of drug abuse & addiction

How can I tell if a loved one has a problem with drugs?

Although different drugs may have different effects on overall physical and mental health, the basic pattern is the same. Getting and using the drug becomes more and more important than anything else, including job, friends and family. The physical and emotional consequences of drug abuse and addiction also make it difficult to function, often impairing judgment to a dangerous level.

Physical signs of abuse and addiction

Drug abuse affects the brain and body directly. While high, the drug affects the entire body, from blood pressure to heart rate. Stimulants like cocaine and methamphetamine “amp up” the body, increasing blood pressure, metabolism and reducing the ability to sleep. Drugs like opiates and barbiturates slow down the body, reducing blood pressure, breathing and alertness sometimes to dangerous levels. Some physical signs of abuse and addiction include:

  • Cycles of increased energy, restlessness, and inability to sleep (often seen in stimulants)
  • Abnormally slow movements, speech or reaction time, confusion and disorientation (often seen in opiates, benzodiazepines and barbiturates)
  • Sudden weight loss or weight gain
  • Cycles of excessive sleep
  • Unexpected changes in clothing,  such as constantly wearing long sleeved shirts, to hide scarring at injection sites
  • Suspected drug paraphernalia such as unexplained pipes, roach clips or syringes
  • For snorted drugs, chronic troubles with sinusitis or nosebleeds
  • For smoked drugs, a persistent cough or bronchitis, leading to coughing up excessive mucus or blood.
  • Progressive severe dental problems (especially with methamphetamine)

Tolerance and withdrawal

Most abused drugs are not only mentally addictive but physically addictive as well. Tolerance is built up to the drug.  More and more of the drug is needed to achieve the desired effect. As the body physically adjusts to the drug, trying to cut down or stop is unpleasant or even painful. These withdrawal symptoms, depending on the drug, can include shakes, chills, severe aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, agitation, depression, and even hallucinations or psychosis. Avoiding withdrawal adds to the urgency of keeping up drug abuse and increases drug dependence.

Mental and emotional signs of abuse and addiction

Abuse and addiction also affect mood, as drugs are abused for the temporary good feelings they provide. These feelings can vary depending on the drug used. Some mental and emotional signs include:

  • Cycles of being unusually talkative, “up” and cheerful, with seemingly boundless energy.
  • Increased irritability, agitation and anger
  • Unusual calmness, unresponsiveness or looking “spaced out”
  • Apathy and depression
  • Paranoia, delusions
  • Temporary psychosis, hallucinations
  • Lowered threshold for violence

What to Expect in Detox

Detoxing from alcohol and drugs is something that should be done with medical advice and care, and should be backed up with counseling in order to help the alcoholic get past the psychological dependence as well as the physical dependence on alcohol. The first goal in an alcohol and drug detox program will be to help the person get through the symptoms they will experience from withdrawal, including any psychiatric problems they may experience. This is usually the first step in a total detox program and can be very effective if done under the right circumstances.

Everyone goes through detox differently and what any one individual may go through will depend largely on a person’s age, frequency and amount of use, as well as any underlying medical issues they may have. For the most part, one can expect to experience withdrawal symptoms such a nausea, vomiting, tremors, sweats and anxiety. In extreme cases some people also may have convulsions or seizures. These are just a few of the reasons why it’s important to have proper medical support in order to help with an alcohol and drug detox program. Many of these effects can be lessened with medications and with proper supervision. On the other hand, some people get through it with very few symptoms. There is no way to tell how any one person will react. Supervised detox is always the best approach. It helps knowing that you have support there if you need it.

Once you have gone through the detox part of the program it’s important to realize that this is just the first step. You’ve managed to eliminate alcohol and drugs from your body but there are still steps that need to be done to ensure that you don’t return to drinking or using again. In order to have a complete recovery it’s important to understand that you now will need to make lifestyle changes in order to increase your odds for a sustained recovery. Learning to live without alcohol as a crutch can be very difficult, but the longer-term benefits of a new and happier life are well worth it.

During the first 30-90 days of a detox program is the time when people are most vulnerable. This is why it’s important to effect changes in your lifestyle as well as getting psychological support. Lifestyle changes can mean staying away from friends who are heavy drinkers, and who may not understand what you have gone through and what you are now trying to accomplish. Staying away from bars or other places where alcohol is served, including your home. Your family will be able to understand the need for you to not be around other people who are drinking. It’s also important to understand the meaning of a dry drunk. This is a person who has ceased drinking and eliminated alcohol from their system, but has done nothing to change the emotional aspects of abuse. This is another aspect of how your lifestyle must change. The more you work with a counselor, the more you will understand that it also takes emotional changes in order to remain sober.

Emotional support from friends and family is also crucial when you are going through alcohol detox. Rehab treatment centers that help people detox also provide support for them through counseling or through a 12-step program such as AA. It is important for the alcoholic to take actions to help in their recovery, and going to counseling regularly is a part of that. If you are on medications you need to take them as directed and never stop it without consulting a doctor. It’s also important to include the family of anyone going through alcohol detox, and allow him or her to offer support and help and be a part of the recovery process. In the end though it is up to the alcoholic to do the necessary work to effect a complete recovery, and then take the needed steps to remain in recovery.

Alcohol Rehab For Effective Alcohol Treatment

Alcoholism. What is it? What makes an alcoholic an alcoholic? Can alcohol rehab help? What does alcohol treatment really do? Is there an alcohol rehabilitation center that can help? If it is you who suspects that you are an alcoholic or if there is someone in your life that you think may be, if you are asking these questions, the answer is “yes” you or this person may be an alcoholic. Since you’re asking the questions it must mean that you have come to a point in your life that change sounds good. You might be at that point where drinking everyday isn’t helping you to get out of life what you feel you deserve, or your spouse’s alcoholism has impeded on your quality of life long enough and you are ready to live life the way you dreamt you would. It could be that you finally realized that your beginning to drink more and drinking is the very reason you aren’t living the life you thought you would. The good news is that you can get your life under control. You can live a healthier, alcohol free existence. You can be sober and you can be happy!

You don’t have to do it alone. Many alcoholics try to stop the drinking on their own. As with any addiction, some are able to stop their addiction cold turkey, their attempts turn into failures, in turn compounding their addiction. Professional, consistent, help is the key to recovery. Alcohol treatment is an effective way to reach your goal of lifelong sobriety. If alcohol rehab is in your future make sure that you take the time to find an alcohol rehabilitation center that will help you meet your goals the way you want to. Your environment will have an impact on your ultimate success, as a recovering alcoholic you are going to want to trust the people that are too take care of you.

Detoxification from alcohol can be extremely uncomfortable, and if not done with proper care and attention, the initial detox period can prove to be fatal, depending on the severity of the alcohol abuse and other health issues that have arisen because of it. Today is as good a day as any to start the journey to your new alcohol free life. Call 1-888-443-3869 and find an alcohol rehabilitation center that will help save your life or the life of someone you love.

Your life is too precious to be lost to addiction. If you or a loved one need alcohol treatment don’t waste anymore time. Your family and your friends love you, and they want you to be healthy and happy, and around for a long time. alcohol rehab will get you through the darkest days of recovery and help you see the light on the other side. Your alcoholism isn’t only destroying you; it’s also affecting the lives of the people that you love the most.

by Amit Chakraborty


Effective Addiction Recovery

Recent research indicates that as many as 50 million Americans suffer from drug addiction and/or alcoholism. Many of these people seek help in rehab programs and addiction recovery centers, but the rate of success is unfortunately quite low. The reasons behind this unfortunate truth are vast and varied, but typically it comes down to two fundamental factors: the level of commitment to healing from the patients, and the totality of the treatment they receive.

There isn’t much that can be done to alter the attitude of addicts; they cannot truly be helped until they decide they are ready. But once they adopt this mindset (usually after they have hit rock bottom), they must receive comprehensive care that treats all of their issues, from the core cause through to the symptom. Quick fixes simply do not work.

Medical detox is an important first step in addiction recovery. When a person has been habitually exposing his body to certain substances over a long period of time he can become chemically dependent on them. When he is denied his fix he will get extremely sick; vomiting, excessive sweating, seizures, muscle pain, anxiety and insomnia are common symptoms of this withdrawal. This process is so unbearable that addicts who try to quit on their own almost always relapse. That is why it is crucial for patients to enter a medical detox facility where they can be helped through this ordeal under the supervision of trained health professionals.

Once the drugs have been cleansed from the addict’s system, he must undergo psychological analysis to determine the cause of his addiction. 75% of people who become dependent on drugs or alcohol do so because they have an accompanying mental disorder of some type. This is known as a dual diagnosis. Dual diagnosis treatment is critical because without proper identification of the root of the problem, recovery is impossible. For instance, a patient may discover he has subconsciously turned to marijuana as a way of self-medicating his anxiety disorder. When he learns how to deal with his fears and emotions in a healthy way, the chances are good he will no longer need to rely on the drug.

Dual diagnosis treatment is critical because without proper identification of the root of the problem, recovery is impossible. For instance, a patient may discover he has subconsciously turned to marijuana as a way of self-medicating his anxiety disorder. When he learns how to deal with his fears and emotions in a healthy way, the chances are good he will no longer need to rely on the drug.

When a comprehensive approach to treatment, one that considers all scientific, medical and mental variables is followed, effective addiction recovery can be possible.

by Allison Savage